Friday, September 21, 2012

Theory: NBA Player's Equate Comedy To A Lack of Clothes

Apparently, NBA players seem to think that if they take off their clothes in a public setting , that is the zenith of comedy. As evidence, we'll look at two case studies (no, not Greg Oden's Internet pictures. No one wants to see a 20 something year old dude that looks like he's 50 naked. NO ONE):


Shaq
As the very funny TBJ blog editor Trey Kerby has already pointed out, Shaq has used a lack of clothes as a Comedy device/crutch for some time now. If I saw a huge semi naked dude crossing the street, I'd be more concerned with what he was on than amused.



I wonder who else just has underwear or worse on just below the desk all the time? Anyone else think Ernie? I'd hate to be the interns on that show...



At this point, you'd have to think that maybe Shaq gets some sort of weird enjoyment from "losing" these bets. I'd bet he's just intentionally losing just to have an excuse to do it again...I'm betting he wears those around the house, just for fun.






Metta World Peace

From taking off his shirt at the Laugh Factory lately to his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel, Metta shows his style of humor well. A bit one dimensional if you ask me...


I think the space in that dude in the purple teeth is funnier than Ron Ron talking off his shirt



Kimmel thought it was funny I guess...guess I'm right not to watch his show....


I rest my case. Anyone else have any corroborating evidence of my theory? 



Thursday, September 20, 2012

Blake Griffin on Sesame Street: Chicken Calling Champion


I got to admit to you guys, I have a soft spot for Sesame Street so I kinda love this video. Blake seems a little unconcerned about the basketball game he was just in but who can pass up a chance to be CHICKEN CALLING CHAMPION That said I would have prefered a dunk contest between him, Addy Cadabby, & the Chicken. Abby gots some mad hops, yo & the Chicken is praticing pretty hard...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

"Footprints In the Sand" by Carmelo Anthony





One night The Knicks had a dream--
They dreamed they were walking along the beach with the Melo
and across the sky flashed scenes from the Knicks' season
For each scene they noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to us and the other to the Melo.
When the last play of the playoffs flashed before us,
We looked back at the footprints in the sand.
We noticed that many times along the path of our season,
there was only one set of footprints.
We also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in the season.
This really bothered the organization and we fans questioned the Melo about it.
"Melo, you said that once we decided to follow you,
you would walk with us all the way,
but we have noticed that during the most troublesome times in season
there is only one set of footprints.
"We don't understand why in times when we needed you most,
you should leave us."
The Melo replied, "My precious, precious team,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you in isolation."


The Melo in all his glory

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Amare Stoudemire On Fashion Police



Amare was recently on Fashion Police with Joan Rivers. Looks like he has some harsh opinions on fashion.Well, Fashion Police Internal Affairs has a few questions for you Amare: Where were you on the night of June 4th?

Amare going with a flamboyant Heisenberg from  breaking bad


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook Share Pants

If you take a look at my earlier post about JR Smith predicting a championship and too much fashion in the NBA, you'll notice a picture of Russell Westbrook at a fashion show in some ugly red pants. looks like Kobe has todays shift on the pants since he was wearing a pair of pants that looked eerily similar to Russ's. This is the whole Givenchy shark sweater thing again...


Psyco T Still Ruining Nights



This was taken moments before Psyco T decided to hit on all the girls by inviting them to play Rock Band and got them all kicked out for trying to sneak in drinks. He ended up stealing their dogs as well. Tyler never learns, does he?  When contacted, Tyler was quoted as saying the following: 


J.R. Smith Predicts Championship (too much fashion in NBA)

First off, too much Basketball & fashion mix these days with Rondo going on BET talking fashion & interning at GQ, Russ Westbrook at a fashion show. Come on guys, you are basketball players. Your about as good at fashion as you guys are at making children's books or rap albums. But JR Smith did make a funny prediction:


All I know is I want some of what JR is drinking. That must be some strong stuff to predict a championship. Try getting out of the first round first JR.  Your starting to sound like Chris Paul saying the Clippers were only a healthy Chauncey Billups to win a ring....I guess whatever you need to tell yourselves guys.


Here's proof of why NBA players should stay out of fashion. Stick to the jerseys...

Ricky Rubio Plays Connect Four Basketball Style on Spanish Talk Show



While it's no surprise Ricky won, it's pretty funny that he keeps trying to mess with the host to get an advantage. Some people don''t know when to give up a joke. Either way, Ricky would have won since the host decides to sport a Rubio jersey. Can't tell which one is which? Just wait for the really annoying laugh and you got Pretty Ricky.




But the real question is: how the hell did those ant (?) puppets get such deep voices?

Here's a bonus Serge Ibaka video, which roughly translates to : athlete or diarrhea.....



Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Tim Duncan Still Loves The Punisher


You probably already knew that Tim Duncan has a Punisher knee brace, but Tim showed up with this Punisher shirt to for some racing on the San Antonio Speedway. One knee brace is one thing but Tim may find himself lumped in with Brook Lopez and Ryan Anderson as the comic nerds of the NBA.

Maybe it makes sense since Brook Lopez moddled his game around Tim's game & idolized him. Brook might even gotten that trait from Tim. On the other hand, there might be something about Caribbean's having an affinity for The Punisher. I'm looking at you, Big Pun. Something in the water maybe? ( though for some reason I have a feeling Tim Duncan doesn't like to crush a lot)

Eric Maynor Already Making Bad Decisions, Plans to Drink Later?

I can only assume that Eric plans to do some drinking later since he's already got the bad decisions part covered. For one you can tell he's shopping at Walmart from the background.

Also if he's planning to drink with those girls, I have a feeling he's going to make a lot of bad decisions with his beer goggles on. I guess that's what happens when you miss a year as a backup point guard in a competitive league , you gotta drop those standards a little bit... Next year should be better, Eric.


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Full Court Press Vol. 1: NBA's Best Kept Secret Vol. 2?




Full Court Press Vol. 1 from Ramy Romany on Vimeo.


Looks like I'm going to have to add some new names to my comprehensive NBA players who rap list soon. Along with OG's Stephen Jackson & Carlos Boozer, Glen Davis Lamar Odom Josh Smith
Baron Davis Shawn Marion & Trevor Ariza are set to make an appearance on this clean album. I'm sad they didn't have Chris Andersen rap on this so he & Birdman can form a rap group named "Birdmen". FINALLY music is going to impact our younger generation in a positive light...? (It hasn't before?) Either way you can always trust NBA players, right? And if Baron Davis says "It's going to be epic!" & Shawn Marion Says "It's gonna be BANANAS!" that' should be good enough for us to plunk down $15. It can't be any worse than NBA's Best Kept Secret (should have kept that secret to themselves) anyways...can it? Stay tuned...





Iman Shumpert: Mall Hero


After being an 80's party door prize winner, Iman bought young Chris here a pair of shoes after he found out he was a Knicks fan who couldn't afford the cool shoes he wanted. Have I mentioned Iman that I'm having trouble affording a pair of shoes too...? Just saying...I'll be at the mall tomorrow between 2-3 P.M., just meet me by the Foot Locker.

Dwight Howard Remains A Joker Till The End



Oh Dwight! This attempt to mend your relationship with the Orlando Magic fans is about as ironic and transparent as the "Loyalty" Dwight Howard shirt (which hipsters should be into now since it's so ironic) . One problem Dwight, you have to put your words in quotes to indicate that what you saying is ironic Maybe he missed that in High School...







Picture of me in Vlade Divac Jersey

If you doubted my Divac devotion, this picture of me with my Vlade jersey should help quell your questioning. My only non-Chicago Bulls jersey to boot.


Why I Miss Vlade Divac



Recently I was reflecting on some of my favorite players (Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Joakim Noah & Vlade Divac) I noticed that there was one player in particular that was not like the others (to bring back an old Sesame Street bit) and that was Vlade Divac. I decided to take a closer look at why I ended up being so enamored with this player.

Vlade excited to have made it into the NBA. What a dream come true!


It starts when I was living back in California in the early 90's. Vlade had been added to an already pretty good Lakers team. While I did live in the Bay Area, which is northern California, the Lakers were by far the most popular team in area due to their recent success. He seemed to stick out to me as a child as he seemed to be a different type of player and of course had unique look to him. Even as a kid I was pretty into basketball, and I use to have my mom read me basketball reference books as bedtime stories and in the morning before school. But the thing that sticks out the most to me was there was this one kid, which in retrospect I assume was Serbian or something pretty close, who had two Vlade shirts he would wear almost everyday, at least three times a week. I remember one was yellow and the other one was purple , Lakers colors, & I specifically remember the design on the purple one, which had a big picture of Vlade's mug on it.
Fast forward a couple years of my life, I had lost interest in Vlade due to the Chicago Bulls success and to be honest, hadn't thought much about him. I knew he was traded for Kobe Bryant (ouch Hornets, bet that still stings to this day Zombie Charlotte Hornets aka New Orleans Hornets).

Vlade, being a one-man fast break. 


But later, he started playing for the Kings, which was my second favorite team at the time due to going to multiple Kings' games a year in the Arco Arena. (I even was at the game which Bobby Hurley got into a car accident that ended his career.) The Bulls in the early 00's were bottom feeders and the Kings ended up being the team I was always rooting for come playoff time. I remember noticing Divac's great passing, especially for a big man, which I have always had a soft spot for (he might be the best passing big man of all time). He is among eight players in NBA history to record 13,000 points, 9,000 rebounds, 3,000 assists and 1,500 blocked shots along with Kareem, Shaq, Hakeem, Timmy, KG, and I am counting Wilt and Russell too though they didn't record blocks then. PJ Brown probably said it best when he said that Vlade might be the best flopper of all time. Though I hate flopping, when Vlade Divac flopped his flops were true and pure, all other flops are just paying homage to the master (he should be getting royalties for these).

Vlade excited to not have to play on the Hornets anymore.


 Of course his beard, and lack there of when he shaved, keep the beard Vlade, chicks dig it. I also was fascinated by his post game interviews and his accent which I would imitate terribly, but always would get me laughs due to the sheer comedic force that is Vlade Divac. Vlade was always very lighthearted and even when he joined the Lakers and didn't know English he stilled proved to be one of the team's favorites, which seemed to also happen on every team thereafter. He was a good dude to his future Euro teammates and Hedo Tukoglu and Peja Stojakovic on the Kings. He was among the first wave of Euro players that played and trained in Europe and were successful in the NBA.  He truly was a prototype, an inspiration for Euro players today.

Vlade with his Eastern European Homeboys. Do you think Vlade was like that 35 year old at a college party when they hung out?


But is wasn't just the game of basketball that was funny to me. He was in some t.v. commercials and movie appearances that always made me laugh just because he is Vlade. How he was a prominent NBA figure during the Kosovo conflict. Of course, the 30 for 30, Once Brothers, documentary is pretty strong as well (sad they couldn't reconcile).  Vlade remains very active in philantrophy and had even won awards for it and is on the Serbian Olympic committee. He even adopted a baby from Serbia. And then of course, there was the military evasion which was later rescinded. Truly there is so much more to Vlade than being a basketball player. All the reasons above are why I miss Vlade and secretly wish he could play forever...

 It was truly special the way he would complain about calls. 


If I haven't convinced you of Vlade Divac's awesomeness, you can always get a quality designer handbag from him for cheap...so at least there's that.