Ad’s for all 30 NBA Teams & Individual Players

In a landmark move, David Stern not only makes having ad’s for all 30 teams but also for individual players as well if they can find a sponsor. Here’s a list of potential advertisements that could be in the works as well as 20+ different players.


Can you think of any other/better ones? Add to the fun & be sure to share in the comments!




Atlantic Division

Brooklyn Nets- Acid Washed Jeans
Boston Celtics- Dunkin’ Doughnuts since there is one every two feet in Boston.
Toronto Raptors- Denim Producers of the World
Philadelphia 76’s- Mitt Romney 2012 (brought to you by Spencer Hawes)
New York Knicks- Carmelo Anthony (he didn’t want anyone else on in New York to steal the spotlight)


Southeast Division

Miami Heat- Carnival Cruises (not only is owned by Mickey Arison but also appeals to Miami Heat fans since they love fair weather)
Orlando Magic- USA Bonds (not flashy but at least you can depend on them)
Atlanta Hawks- Lasko (to get some fans in the building)
Washington Wizards- Special Interest groups & Lobbyists of America (they seem to sponsor everything in Washington, why not the Wizards?)
Charlotte Bobcats- BG7 energy drink

Central Division

Indiana Pacers- Entertainment 720
Detroit Pistons- A pack of wild dogs
Milwaukee Bucks- Miller Beer (cause they got mad hops)
Cleveland Cavaliers- Cleveland Tourist Bureau (they didn’t want all the press to be bad from the NBA)
Chicago Bulls- White Sox (since they already support them financially, good job being “all in” & signing Adam Dunn, totally worth it. Can you tell I’m a bitter Bulls fan?)

Pacific Division

Golden State Warriors- Chico’s Bail Bond
s until 2017 & then Cisco Systems afterwards. ( Shout out to @youngpepdash for the inspiration)
Los Angeles Clippers- Summer’s Eve (since Donald Sterling is already a douche)
Los Angeles Lakers- Country Time (Magic approved)
Phoenix Suns- AARP (it’s in ARIZONA & the fans LOVE the training staff, home games will now end by 5:00 PM as part of the stipulation)
Anaheim Sacramento Kings- The Mayor’s Office

Southwest Division

Dallas Mavericks- Shark Tank
San Antonio Spurs- Lens crafters (not only is Timmy & Manu getting old & needing new glasses, Tony will need some cool new looks for this season)
New Orleans Hornets- Scuba Gear (just in case)
Memphis Grizzlies- Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation
Houston Rockets- China ( also been announced that the Rockets have made Yao Ming their coach & added Wang Zhizhi, Yi Jianlian, & Stephon Marbuy)

Northwest Division

Denver Nuggets- Noodles & Company (Kenneth Faried convinced them)
Minnesota Timberwolves- IKEA (players will have to put on the advertisement themselves)
Oklahoma City Thunder- Seattle based funeral home (they didn’t get the Zombie Sonics is a joke)
Portland Trailblazers- West Portland Physical Therapy Clinic
Utah Jazz- SLC Polygamists United National Knighthood

Individual Players

Kevin Love- Love’s Truck Stop
Delonte West- Smucker’s
Eddy Curry- Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast ( in lieu of payment Eddy will be able to have free food at Denny’s for the remainder of his life)
Carlos Boozer- GLH by Ronco
Grant Hill- Will be replaced by a 6 foot bottle of sprite
Shawn Marion- Trix (As part of the sponsorship, Shawn will change his last name to Mark Cuban’s (start video at 9:00 mark) nickname for him “Trix”, Awesome he’s a sock collector BTW) (Shout out to @thatwouldsuck for the video)
Lebron- All his normal sponsors but on his head band since it’s big enough
Llamr Odom- Keeping Up With the Kardashians
Ron Artest- ACE Elbow Pads
Harden- World Beard & Mustache Championships
Luol Deng- Dos Equis
Glibert arenas- Gates Lumber Company
Oden- Web MD
Luis Scola- Coca-Cola Luis will also change his 1st name to Coca as part of the deal, making it Coca Scola (Shout out to @traread)
Ricky Rubio- Tiger beat
Vinny Del Negro- Radio Shack (Somehow they are both still around even though they don’t seem to serve a purpose)
Chris Bosh- Snapfish since he single handily turned them profits with all the photos he has ruined.
Anthony Davis- Sally Beauty Supply
Joakim Noah-Local smoke shop (in lieu of payment Joakim will be given a super trippy piece)
Anderson Vajero- Red Bull